(Source: i-am-the-oracular-spectacular)

fags at school: hey i smoke weed and get wasted every weekend.
me: sometimes when my mum tells me to get off the computer at 11, i get off at 11:05.

pizzaforpresident:

I JUST SPIT MY DRINK ALL OVER MY LAPTOP

(Source: fearlessknightsandfairytales)

(Source: pleatedjeans)

sams-not-the-american-average:

what-is-aiir:

humour blog - follow

all day every day

(Source: detectivesexymcbadass)

djmushahid:

<3

me: *stays home*
parents: why are you so lazy? get off your ass and do something with your life
me: *goes out*
parents: omg you're out of control stop hanging out with those people and roaming the streets
me: *eats*
parents: you are ruining your body with that garbage
me: *doesn't eat something*
parents: we're getting really concerned are you on a diet is there something you're not telling us do you have an eating disorder?
me: *exhales*
parents: don't give me that attitude